US Club Soccer believes coaches have a responsibility to keep their players' Emotional Tanks full. What do they mean by this? Each of us has what we call an "Emotional Tank," which is similar to the gas tank in a car. If our tank is empty, we can't expect to drive across the country. If our tank is full, we can drive a long, long way. Filling athletes' Emotional Tanks give coaches distinct advantages.

 

Coachability
One of the great things about the Emotional Tank is that it can help make athletes, of any age, more coachable. Here's what veteran keeper coach Tim Hanley, of MLS’s San Jose Earthquakes has to say on the matter, "The attitude we have adopted with our coaching at the San Jose Earthquakes has been Positive-Positive-Positive. We over-fill our professionals' tanks! This is a very different philosophy than pre-2001 and the results speak for themselves."

When players' Emotional Tanks are low, they tend to be pessimistic and give up more easily. When Tanks are full, players tend to be optimistic, deal better with adversity, and are more able to hear what you have to say without resistance.

 

How to fill and drain Emotional Tanks
Praise (truthful and specific), reinforcing positives, listening and nonverbal (nodding, clapping, smiling) are things that tend to fill tanks. It's important to be truthful and specific when filling tanks. Otherwise, your efforts can be taken as insincere. The kinds of things that drain tanks are criticisms, corrections, ignoring and nonverbal (frowns). We as coaches are usually good at being truthful and specific drainers (giving criticism). We need to be as truthful and specific with praise as well.

 

Plus/Minus Ratio:
Research from two quite different places indicates that there is an ideal ratio of positives to negatives - the Plus/Minus ratio. Whatever fills the Tank is a plus, and whatever empties it is a negative. Academic research studies, one focused on the relationships of married couples, the other on elementary students, suggests that 5:1 is the ideal ratio of positive to negative comments in a relationship or a sports team. In fact, students thrived when the Plus/Minus ratio was 5:1, and as it sank to 2:1 or 1:1, the student's attitude was described as "despairing." Achieving a 5:1 ratio is not easy, especially since as coaches and parents we need to teach, correct, and critique our athletes if we want them to improve.

 

Hanley states, "As coaches we strive to improve everyday. The 5:1 helps me do just that. It's so easy to find mistakes, difficult at times to find the positives; but I understand the importance of the ratio. On a tough day, maybe I praise their effort, attitude, how they have conducted themselves in a professional manner during our last game etc. My players respond to this which helps me become a better teacher."

 

Friendly Criticism: Tips for Parents and Coaches

• Avoid non-teachable moments
  Identify the appropriate lesson for the appropriate time. For example the ride home after a game where your athlete made a costly mistake is not the time to give technical instruction.
• In private
  People can hear criticism better in private than in front of a crowd.
• Ask permission
  By asking if your player is open to a suggestion, it changes the dynamics and makes the criticism less of a minus. If the response is "no," honor that and come back later and ask again. It is likely that he or she will be curious about what you are going to say. For something that a player needs to hear immediately (poor sportsmanship, safety issue etc) this technique should not be used.
• If-then statements
  The way a coach gives directions to an athlete can make a huge difference in how receptive the athlete is to taking the direction. Hanley states, "Soccer, like most sports, can be very simple and at times very technical. My comments range from, 'IF we hit the target, THEN good things happen' (for youth team). With the Stanford Men's Soccer team it might be, 'James IF you get your free kick on target or force the keeper save, THEN we get an opportunity to score.' A subtle difference, but one that can keep an athlete in a receptive mode to learn and improve their performance."
• Criticism sandwich
  This is a technique for commenting on performance. Sandwich the criticism (truthful and specific) with a compliment on both sides.

To learn more about the US Club Soccer-PCA Partnership, or bringing the benefits of Positive Coaching to your club, visit Positive Coaching Alliance at www.PositiveCoach.org

 

[Adapted from US Club Soccer May 2005 Newsletter, www.usclubsoccer.com]